It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. There'll be lots of cards, flowers, chocolates, romantic gestures - and maybe a promise or two that you will have your first ski holiday together.
Your first ski holiday together can be a great way to cement the growing bond between you and your new partner - or the first stage in the decline.
I'm not saying that ski holidays are relationship busters. On the face of it they appear to be anything but - what could be more romantic than a chocolate box chalet, spicy gluhwein by a large, crackling fire, champagne in the hot tub under the stars overlooking the fir tree forest?
Play together and stay together? Not necessarily...
The first cracks start to appear when you suddenly begin to realise that your new love's ski (or snowboarding) ability might be drastically different to your own. If you are the stronger skier or snowboarder then this will possibly induce a sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach - as you realise that you either have to resign yourself to staying on the greens at 2mph for the next few days, or you have to tactfully suggest that maybe some lessons might be in order. Whatever you do, resist the urge to offer advice or instruction yourself - unless you are an instructor of course.
For some time I worked with a ski tour operator and part of the job was to do the airport run. On the return leg I would be working my way down the coach taking bookings for lift passes, equipment and ski school. At the risk of sounding sexist, it was always the "expert" men who would insist that their novice girlfriend did not need to book lessons as he would be showing her the way.
At 4.00pm on the first day the girlfriend would often be coming to find me to discuss ways of getting back to the airport and getting the first plane out of there - sometimes in tears, often furious, usually unable to pronounce the boyfriend's name without a string of expletives.
If it was the other way round and it was the female who was the expert, there would usually be no question about ski school - the boyfriend would be in lessons whilst the girlfriend would be ripping it up with new friends she'd made in the chalet. They could then do lunch together and maybe she could fondly follow him down the nursery slope once or twice in the afternoon, and praise him on his progress. Generally harmony would prevail.
Failing to prepare is like preparing to fail...
So if you are planning a ski trip with your new love, do some research beforehand - if you're the more experienced of the two then the onus will be on you to handle the situation. If there really is a big difference in ability between you then trying to ski together all the time will most likely result in resentment and friction. Have some time apart so that both of you can ski comfortably at your own levels. Ski/snowboard school is a good idea here - most schools will offer classes for all levels, beginners will be shown how to progress and the more advanced will also be able to get good mileage.
Another option is the Ski Club of Great Britain - if your beginner partner is in ski school you will be able to ski with the resort's Ski Club rep who can show you round. As you and your partner improve there are courses and specific holidays aimed at different levels, often in the same resort where the normal Ski Club rep service operates - so one of you could be doing an improvers course, whilst the other is still enjoying sociable skiing.
Choosing a resort where you will most likely be able to ski in the same areas will also help - so you can do a black which ends up at the same place as a blue for example - then you can still ride the lifts together, and feel that you're enjoying the experience as a couple.
The next stage where friction might occur of course is when you discover that your previously novice partner has improved to the extent that he or she is now much better than you. I have no advice for this stage I'm afraid, except maybe grin and bear it!
What's your experience? Have you any advice or stories to tell about couple's ski holidays? We'd love to hear it. Make a comment by clicking on the comments link below.
